Confidence and the voice

The other night I, I took part in a jam session here in New York City. It wasn't the typical sort of jam where the tunes are predetermined. This was a free jazz jam and there were a bunch of horns: Trumpet, alto and tenor saxophone, trumpet, flugelhorn and flute. Later came a guitarist too.

The drummer at the jam asked me to sit in, alongside all the horns. It made me a little nervous because I've performed at myriad jam sessions over the years but never in this way. I didn't know if my voice would cut through and if I'd be able to say something. The drummer said "Oh, come on...!"

I walked with him downstairs and let the horns + rhythm section start. A few minutes later, he looked my way and I took a deep breathe. I walked to the stage and I decided...just go for it. What the hell. I grabbed the microphone and let out a wail in my high register and threw in a rhythmic line in complete contrast to what they were playing. It turned the music around. Everyone went my way...and we started to make music. The horns accepted me and sometimes gave me some space and when they didn't I asserted myself when it felt right to do so.

It was a liberating experience. I threw myself outthere and it felt great. I'll never be afraid to to try this again and experiences like these, each time I or we push ourselves just a little bit more - we find out what we can do. I discovered again that when I make a strong statement, people tend to listen. Shake them awake. Let the chandelier rock off the ceiling. Let it crash. It's OK.