Connection

Just recently I gave a workshop in New York City on confidence and connecting with an audience. During that workshop, a discussion erupted about putting a spell on an audience. How does that work? I offered that I had no clue and then I remembered a pivotal moment along the way where I confronted that same question. I participants that story...

Back in 2000, I got asked to do a festival curated by an agent in Germany and I could bring along my own pianist. I'd worked with this agent before but only with groups that featured me and they were more commercial than I was doing. This agent liked his music gutbucket and straight for these festivals so I wanted to make a good impression because the guy paid well and hooked you up: 4-star hotel, 1st class train fare and all the meals were on him. I thought if this works out he'd book me on more festivals with more opportunities to develop that side of my singing. So I asked pianist Curtis Clark to come along...one of the most delicate pianists around!

At the festival we were given a small stage off to the side of the main stages. Despite the leakage from the bigger groups close by, it was a cool spot for a duo with tons of space. We talked through what the first set would be, did our sound check during which I instructed Curtis how I wanted to "drive the music home to the people..." He didn't say anything. I was simply determined to do well and make those people like me and make that agent LOVE me.

We went out and did our 1st set. We had a big crowd and I went into overdrive to keep them there. Reaching and pushing out to the audience, looking at them in their eyes with yearning. Sometimes I heard Curtis but most times I was in my own world. The crowd stayed but the audience reaction was lukewarm. No-one hung around to even say "Danke". Scheisser.

After the set, Curtis and I go backstage. As soon as we're seated, he turned to me and said:

"What are you doing?"

"What do I mean 'what am I doing'?" I said.

"Why are you pushing the music so hard? Why are you fighting me?" he said.

I was stunned and speechless - not easy for me. After an awkward silence I asked him what he meant by that. He replied,

"You seem to be worried about keeping a big crowd and we're not together musically. It's not happening. If we get together and communicate with each other, the music will be stronger. If we do this you may lose some audience, sure, but the audience that stays will stay because they want to HEAR us."

This was a revelation. I knew that first set didn't work but I didn't think I did anything wrong. I pulled out every "performer" cliche I knew of. I worked HARD to get and keep the audience's attention. I had no clue...

So this was a revelation. I gave myself such a hard time for not being a strong performer in the sit-in-their-lap vein of entertainer. I saw it as a weakness for a longtime that I wouldn't, for example, jump into a mosh-pit from stage. I don't like to say too much and I want the music to speak for itself. I'd seen performers go to great lengths to pull the audience toward them: be funny, dress sexy, sing seductively, all these "extracurricular" activities that looked like overcompensation most of the time. and that's just what I did the first set. Here he's saying I can own that aspect of myself...

Curtis went on to suggest that for the next set we simply focus on getting together with the music. Communicate and respond with each other and see what happens. I agreed to give it a try. It couldn't be worse than what went before. I had nothing to lose.

That second set had a weird pause when we started out but it eased and we began to make...music. The audience had changed and quite a few walked away once we moved in unison more. That was hard at first. I did see that those who stayed had sweet smiles and enjoyed the music. They looked me in the eyes. It's the first time I recognized that I allowed me to be me - even if just for a moment - in all my vulnerability on stage and it felt GOOD. A profound moment.

I've taken that moment on that stage in Germany to heart. I now strive for more organic connection with an audience than ever. Learning more and more how the be the genuine me. How to extract the truth of myself into the music I sing. It's a fundamental part of my journey. Digging deeper as my psyche will allow. How lucky I feel. I owe Curtis because his honesty with me that day caused a tectonic shift in my outlook as a vocalist. It went on to inform the ensemble band-leading sound I've been developing. impacted my approach to music today. Thank you, Curtis.

If you love jazz and/or piano, check him out he has a number of recordings and he's a very special player and composer. Here's his myspace link: http://www.myspace.com/curtisclarkmusic